自生自滅
Fend For Oneself
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Fend For Oneself
自生自滅是個過程，
選擇沉溺的是自己；
選擇醒覺的也是自己。
Self-destruction is a process;
It is oneself who chooses to indulge;
It is also oneself who chooses to awaken.
Lyrics
歌詞
曲： 張蔓莎/ Goo Chan
詞： 小克
編： Nic Tsui
監： Nic Tsui / 張蔓莎
為何一支煙 私自點起
在調校這氣氛 幫我思憶一個 你
與往昔的 空氣
為何一支針 花盡心機
但求每個圖案 讓我於血脈 緊記
紋身也是照樣 跟你
自願 帶著你的痕跡
自虐 還是太自欺
傷心 在暗自細味
死心 亦暗自塌地
自律 抹掉這種回憶
自癒 還是抹不走你
忍心 讓故事結尾
似是 而非
為何自動自覺 早晚在想起你
為何自暴自棄 都變做一種美
想一直困於 這 非常時期
慢慢地枯死
為何自問自答 仿似在飾演你
為何自艾自怨 左顧右盼 只有自己
當我 再不愛你 亦能開到荼蘼
自願 告別愛的儀式
自虐 還是太自欺
傷心 在暗自細味
死心 亦暗自塌地
自律 戒掉這種沉溺
自癒 還是戒不走你
忍心 讓故事結尾
覺悟 前非
為何自動自覺 早晚在想起你
為何自暴自棄 都變做一種美
想一直困於 這 非常時期
慢慢地枯死
為何自問自答 仿似在飾演你
為何自艾自怨 左顧右盼 只有自己
因我 沉迷於 某種傷悲
原來舊病復發 可以沒有限期
但願地大物博 生與滅中識破
得我 一個 會救醒 垂死 的我
明明不抽煙 只為點火
復燃不起 愛戀的 最初
(ENG)
Why do I light a cigarette on my own,
Adjusting the atmosphere to help me recall you,
In the air of the past?
Why does a needle take so much effort,
Seeking every pattern to remind me in my veins?
Tattoos are still a reminder of you.
Willingly carrying your traces,
Self-torture, or just too self-deceptive?
Heartbroken, savoring the pain in silence,
Resigned, also quietly collapsing.
Discipline, trying to erase these memories,
Healing, yet still unable to erase you.
With a heavy heart, letting the story end,
Feeling as if it’s not quite real.
Why am I automatically reminded of you, morning and night?
Why does self-destruction become a form of beauty?
I want to remain trapped in this extraordinary time,
Slowly withering away.
Why do I ask and answer myself, seemingly playing your part?
Why do I wallow in self-pity, looking around, but it’s only myself?
When I no longer love you, I can still bloom.
Willingly bidding farewell to the ritual of love,
Self-torture, or just too self-deceptive?
Heartbroken, savoring the pain in silence,
Resigned, also quietly collapsing.
Discipline, trying to break this addiction,
Healing, yet still unable to let you go.
With a heavy heart, letting the story end,
Awakening to past mistakes.
Why am I automatically reminded of you, morning and night?
Why does self-destruction become a form of beauty?
I want to remain trapped in this extraordinary time,
Slowly withering away.
Why do I ask and answer myself, seemingly playing your part?
Why do I wallow in self-pity, looking around, but it’s only myself?
Because I’m addicted to a certain sadness,
It turns out that old wounds can resurface indefinitely.
Wishing for a vast world to uncover the truth in life and death,
So I can find someone who can awaken the dying me.
Clearly not a smoker, just trying to ignite,
Unable to rekindle the love’s beginning.
Credits:
Director: Shun Yu Mo
Producer: KaeJa
DOP: Dun Lamb
Focus Puller: Kelvin Lam
Gaffer: Hero Poon
Art Director: Effy & KaeJa
Styling: Inggrad Shek
Make Up Artist: San Chan
Hair Stylist: Yasuhiro Hara
Editor: Edwardo Chan
Colourist: Eric Chan
Retoucher: Mok
Still Photographer: Elaine Lam
Cover Photographer: Karlson Tsang
Management: Ronnie Fung, Michelle Ko, Jacqueline Liu
Music promotion: Pete Yeung, Bon Tong